Minor Unfolding

You can bring yourself outside your comfort zone. To a place of unknown wonder. Marvel at the things that you havent seen. I would describe them but thats not possible. I havent been there. If you have send me a post card.

We can drain the pool of our mind to see whats sitting at the bottom. Its been there turning almost at the speed of the grass growing. What could have so much patience to make its stand like that? Everything else flows like the tide within this egg shaped cranium of mine.

I feel my fingers against the keys. Muddily making sentences. My fingers dont want to type anymore. My head wants to stop thinking. Wish it were that easy to stop this crazy train.

My creativity is linked to pain. I started writing because I didnt know what to do or where to turn. All the substances still drew me to wanting out. Some kind of out, didnt know how or where. If I played bass better then I might have been there. Instead my fingers can dance around this keyboard. Probably blind I could still manage. As long as the home row keys were prominent. I dont know if Id even want to write anymore, touch would be so much stronger. I wish Id have lived like that though. Ive taken in many deep breaths in places where I needed to take the moment in. I can say Ive lived within the moments Ive had, specific moments that really can only be described by the senses themselves. The velvet touch of a persons skin or the scent that infects the room as soon as they enter. But all those are memories. Phantom reality, feeling it even when its way passed gone. I guess I would write if I were blind, would be the utmost amount of pain at this point I can think of.

But you need pain. We all do. It builds you, just the ability to heal needs to be learned. After you pull yourself out and map how you can do that again you hopefully will. Almost keep a hair trigger on your ability to hold yourself together even when you've fallen apart. Have that joint standing by or that drink or that girl or that guy. Because we all break, perhaps we are all broken. But we all break its a matter of just time. No one can keep it up forever. I dont know if learning to climb out of my depression has made me stronger yet. The journey seems short. No matter what age you are my 28 years have felt long, Im sure its not going to get any shorter.

Breathe out, beathe in. Repeat because you have to, because if giving up were going to happen it would have already. If you made it to today you can make it to tomorrow, dont know if this is for the eyes reading or the mind unfolding.